Here I Go Again. I was in the bathroom; I whispered something I should have resisted from making public. It begun when I got out of bed this morning. Oh, it will be okay no one is around.
Driving to work a jeep turned in front of me. Frustrated, I yelled at him from inside an enclosed car. Whew! No one was in the car to examine me acting like a fool.
Finally, at work.
Sitting at my desk, my eyes intensely on the computer screen. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sharon, a woman in which our personalities clash, walking up to my desk. She starts talking about personal issues going on in her life. Struggling to listen because my patients are low. The only thing I can think about, is how I want her to shut up and leave. Her high pitch tone is scraping every one of my nerves inside. I close my eyes, to focus, so I do not say something I should not. The tone in her words is getting louder and louder. Each time it rises, so does my stress level. I can’t take it anymore. I look at her and my mouth comes open, spewing every reason I was not interested in her story. She looked at me with hurt in her eyes and walked away. I was instantly convicted by my actions. I bowed my head asking, “Lord, I need you to help my thoughts and give me self-control over my mouth.”
Why is it when we are in private we assume our thoughts are unharmful until those same ideas come out of our mouth in front of others?
Lately, I have been reminded of how God knows every thought, the good and bad, even when we assume He does not.
Too often we concentrate on the wrong we have done in the past. But what about the good?
Good, like what He will accomplish with our life.
Good, like having characteristics that resemble Christ.
Instead of accepting the valuable things, our response is the same as we say privately in the bad. “Yes, Lord I read what you revealed about me but in my ears, I hear the other.” Inside we are doubting like Moses, claiming, “That is not me. I cannot do that.” It becomes a reasoning game with God. Something like, “Lord, I gather what you are suggesting about me, but let me explain who I am. Let me inform you what my skills are, in which I am valuable. Let me instruct you on what you can do with my story.” As God listens never speaking a word He ends up just showing me He knows better than I do.
Afterwards, I ask myself, “Why do I do this?” Doubt. Unbelief. Lack of faith. Resorting back to our former ways, instead of trusting what God reveals.
What makes it worse is that Satan knows these weak areas. He comes in with a pick ax, just chopping away to beat us down. He shouts at our insecurities, as our ears become deaf to all those things that God has spoken. When we can’t hear what God says anymore, we travel back to our own knowledge. Putting our trust in our self because we have survived taking care of our self for years. Instead of allowing God to enter in and prune us to grow into what He has said. The downfall to this is we miss out on the exciting and unbelievable things God prefers to do in us.
Therefore, I encourage you to never give up on what God declares about you. He might put you through the fire to produce in you what He sees. In those trying times draw upon God’s Word as His strength and power gets you through. Before you know it, you will start seeing what He sees in you.
In the comment section below please share your thoughts. If you are unsure where to start here are questions to help you get going:
1) Are your first thoughts the good or bad?
2) If you could describe your thoughts how would you describe them? Would they be what God thinks of you or different?